F.E.A.R

For weeks I have been toiling about the idea of writing about fear.Just because yours trully,though hard to admit is sometimes afraid.And,no am not afraid of the dark,or being robbed,growing up with the boys I learnt not to be afraid of such things.But I am afraid,yes,of my tomorrow, of the future,ahead of me.Just the thought of it keeps me awake,thinking of only God knows what.Am afraid of other things things too,am afraid of trailers and overtaking vehicles.Why do drivers overtake anyway,?I was thinking the other day,of the plans I had,some have achieved ,others are yet to take off! I was terriby afraid,but then I remembered whose daughter I was,and I straightened my crown.We ought not to be afraid, in an effort to know more about fear I googled and came up with interesting definitions about fear.

Fear is an unpleasant often strong emotionbcaused by anticipation or awareness of danger.
Fear is a mind killer,fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
Fear and worry are interest paid in advance on something you may never own.

In his book,An Enemy Called Average, John Mason says,Fear is a poor chisel for carving out tomorrow.Today,if you are viewing your future from a position of fear or worry,I want to let you know that view is not accurate or correct.Instead,view your future from a position of faith.That's the truth.Worry is simply the triumph of fear over faith.
A story is told of a woman crying profusely and standing on a street corner.A man came up to her and asked why she was weeping.The lady shook her head and replied: "I was just thinking that maybe someday I would get married.We would later have a beautiful baby girl.Then one day this child and I would go for a walk along this street, and my darling daughter would run into the street, get hit by a car,and die.".

It sounds like a pretty ridiculous situation-weeping because of something that will probably never happen. Yet we act this way when we worry and fear.We blow a situation out of proportion that might not even come to pass.

Am not afraid of my future anymore,He who holds my life,has it ordained already.
According to google,there six basic fears:poverty, criticism,Ill health,loss of love,old age,and death.And then I came across the following types of fears:-

Athazagoraphobia-The fear of forgetting,being forgotten, or ignored,or being replaced.
Pistanthrophobia-Fear of trusting people due to past experiences with relationship s gone bad.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia-fear of long words.
Anatidaephobia-The fear that a duck is following you.
Glossophobia-Fear of public speaking.
Philophobia-fear of falling in love.
Atelphobia-The fear of not being good enough.
Caronophobia-The fear of cancer!!

So many fears!May be this quote from Frank Herbert Dune will help you and me to overcome our everyday fears. "I will face my fears,I will allow my fear to pass over me and through me.And when it has gone I will turn my inner eye to see its path.And where the fear has gone,there will be nothing, Only I remain.And Courage is acting in faith,despite our feelings of fear.(Joe Balin).

I hope you have a fear free week and above all fearless life!!.

Its Nzisa.

FARE THEE WELL ,JOEY

It is a sad day for me.Miles away in Alexandria, Indiana,a friend Joey Feek lost her battle to cancer.I came to know her through her husband's blog,This Life I live,One man's extra ordinary life.I love country music,The two made Joey + Rory-the country music duo,Joey was duo's lead vocalist,while Rory sings background vocals and plays the guiter.

They shared a love so deep,and their music is great.Last November Joey's cervical cancer was declared terminal,it came back and spread to her colon. .All the medication was stopped and she relied on morphine to ease the pain.She chose to go back to Indiana where she was born and brought up,so that she spend her last days there,surrounded by her family.

In an interview last November, Joey said was not angry or depressed with God,(whom she served diligently) but she was disappointed, that after going radical gynecological surgery to eradicate it,the cancer had returned as inoperable and terminal.
Joey's wish was to live past Christmas 2015 and if possible her daughter's second birthday 2016,all of which she achieved.

For days, we held our breath,in his blog on Feb 29,Rory said Joey has being in deep sleep for days.Holding our breath, we waited for this country music fairytale with the saddest of endings to reach its ending.Holding our breath and sadly waiting for Joey Feek's last breath on this earth,and a first one in heaven.

In his blog,Rory says that he is thankful that so many in the world are following his wife's journey.

Joey's journey encouraged masses all over the world.In her own words she said she still believes and knows even Jesus heals,She never questioned God,she said she had accomplished her work here on Earth,and she didn't regret a single bit of it.Before,she drifted into this deep sleep, she called her family by her side,and bid all of them goodbye one by one.Even her two year old daughter. She was happy she was going to meet her maker,she hinted Jesus had talked over over to her,isn't this beautiful,though cancer took her body away,it never took her spirit and believe in God.

Her legacy will live forever,What about us,who have been left behind,may we live a life that inspires and encourages other.Joey's life moved me.Rest in Heaven Joey,am sure you are dancing with angels,cancer free.

To Rory,Indy,Hopie,Heidi,family and friends all over the world,may God give you strength and comfort you.May ou
r life's inspire millions on earth. Fare Thee well Joey.

You can read more about Joey,watch her videos,listen to her music on her husband's blog
She was truly beautiful, had a beautiful voice and above all beautiful soul.

We will surely miss you.

Stop Complaining and Count Your Blessings

Most of us have this nasty habit of complaining about everything including things that do not matter.Infact,for some complaining is there second nature.Picture this,you have just bought two big pizzas and are getting into a car when a friend comes over,and,as we commonly do,she asks how have you been.

You say 'fine,tunasukumana tu na maisha,imekuwa ngumu sana'Why can't you just say fine and let it rest instead of adding how difficult life has become?Why is it typical of us to always find something to complain about?
And complaining we do.We complain about everything. How bad the traffic jam is.How bad our roads are.How terrible the house girl is,How nagging our wives are,How demanding our babies and husbands are,How bad the boss is,How demanding our jobs are,How bad the food the housegirl made last night was,How small the house is,How the mortgage is killing you,How small the parking bay is,How bad your skin is,How irritating your snoring husband is.The list is endless.

The next time you want to complain about little things like that,and even get stressed about them,stop and think about how blessed you are.You will realise that you really do not have real problems. There are people out there with bigger,more serious issues to deal with in this life.That is not to mean that you should downplay your problems, rather you should make an habit of adopting a more positive altitude to life.

Other than always talking about the miseries in your life,it would help to have more optimistic altitude towards life.The traffic jam may be bad,but you should be grateful that you are in a car or matatu and that you can afford one,and also that you are not one.When you want to complain about your demanding husband and baby,praise God that you are not lonely,that you have a husband and you are blessed with a demanding baby.Do not take it for granted that you have a child,no matter how tiring it is to look after him or her,since some women are unable to have children.

If tempted to complain about how small your house is,think of IDPS,who live in tents years after postelection violence, and other homeless people.You think your skin is bad, because you have a few pimples and dry patches?Well there is someone suffering from skin cancer or other serious conditions.

If you want to complain about how terrible and unmanageable your hair is,just think about that woman who has lost all her glorious hair,not because she wanted to be clean shaven ,but because she underwent a series of very painful chemotherapy sessions. If you are stressed because of the mortgage, please stop and think how blessed you are that the bank considered you for a mortgage. Infact,you are among less than 10 per cent of Kenyans who can afford a mortgage.

Let gratitude became your way of life.Each day,take time to count your blessings. Gratitude should not be just a reaction to getting what you want,but an all time gratitude,the kind where you notice the little things,and where you constantly look for the good,even in unpleasant situations. Start bringing gratitude to your experiences instead of waiting for a positive experience to feel grateful.

The benefits of gratitude are many.You develop stronger emotional resilience and are able to cope better with adversity.You Will aslo be happier,you will sleep better,and you will be healthier.

Itgalvee

SWEET HOME..

I finally made it home for christmas.As the days progressed towards christmas i was not so sure of making it home for christmas.I had missed my family,its been months since i was lastly there.My little brother casually joked that one day i will find that the family moved.Really!!
And as our vehicle passed through the long meadering road,i knew i was on my way home.I felt like singing 'Am coming Home' by Nameless.The joy of mising my family was immeasurable.

The rains have done it good on this sides,the view was breathtaking,am so sure that the harvest will be good this season.The mood was bubbly,and as i alighted out of the vehicle i felt change over my life.The way i felt many years ago as a young girl,during christmas time.The village in me never died.As i hugged my family,i couldnt hide my joy,my dad and mum,my three brothers,everyone was around.!!!Even our family dogs welcomed me,they wagged thier tails towards me and i felt a sense of belonging..This is home..I was there for less than 24 hours but those were the most important hours of my life.I had an option of working over christmas but family comes first..thats all we have..and East or west home will always be best.

I am glad i made it to the village this christmas.I am so proud of where i was born and brought up.The people who took part in my upbringing,my neighbours,my teachers,relatives and everyone who moulded me.The end result is what i am now.I am proud of my bright colours,yes yellow is the colour from where i come from...

As the year comes to end,i am so grateful to God to have a family,a place i can call home.Thankyou to you my friends you are a family too.As the year comes to an end i hope and pray that my pen never runs dry..

Its Nzisa.She lived!!

365 REASONS WHY I AM FOREVER GRATEFUL

Its November already!!! oh no its December!!actually its only a few days before the new year. So soon yet so happy for the milestones have made this year.

As i write this my mind wanders to that incidence,when i almost perished through a road accident along Mombasa road.For a moment i thought that was the end of me.My right hand went completely numb,but i could feel guys jumping out of the 'matatu' wreck.It was an head on collision almost six people perished on the spot.People said am 'lucky' i survived but i knew God blocked it.Hey HE DID!!None of my bones broke,i came out alive,thats what really matters.Surely,God saved my life,were it for me,i would be a bygone by down.


This prompted me to came up with 365 days of being grateful.
In good and bad time,we are supposed to be forever grateful.As Job begs the question,should we accept only good things from the hand of God,and never anything bad?(Job 2:10).We are called to be thankful in every season.The truth is we'll always have many reasons to be grateful for.As God's children,we're called to praise HIM during the calm seasons,in our lives,and during the seasons when storms are raging.
Lift your hands in adoration to your Jesus at all times,in every season and for every reason!

The Bible says that a thankful heart is a happy heart.This is my 365 of being grateful.Each day i have something to be grateful for.

Am so grateful,forever more,for this and and many more,its almost end year and am still counting my blessings.
Strength,that although it may waver with the help of friends always,find its way back.
I'm grateful for the light mornings,the smell of rain,its always God sent.(unfortunately you can only appreciate this in the countryside not here in the city)
Am so grateful because of my family,,,they made me became me.
Mommy-for being always there for me,i look up to her,Heavens can declare my love for her.
Daddy-you are what a daughter could ask for,you have always denied yourself that i may have,and you still do,daddy.
My Three Brothers-you made me,became me.My childhood was awesome all because of you,There has never been a dull day with you around.(you make me miss my childhood).
Sisters in Law-Faith and Monica,God knew how much i wanted a sister as a little girl and he knew you were coming,many years later.
Josh my nephew,you are so charming baby.
Breyanna my niece,so calm and adorable ,and lovely, i thank God for you Bree.
My BFF,Naomi,my buddy,you are heaven sent,the sister i never had ,thankyou for being with me through thick and thin.
Childhood friend,Mwende,my 3.00am buddy, thanks for helping me stand,and stand strong.Thankyou for being closer than a sister.

For a roof over my head ,am so grateful dear God.
For the shoes on my feet i say thank-you.
For the good health,thank you God.
For the sunshine,it brightens my dull days.
For blogging,introverts like me can talk.
For my kitty.which passed on earlier this year,she really loved me,and made me appreciate animals more.The day i had an accident,she refused to leave my bedroom,even after sending her away several times,she stayed at the corner,watching over me.With every painful groan ,she would purr,as if she was saying sorry. Thank you God for the animals.
Am so grateful for my job,i have given nothing to God to have what i have.
I am so thankful for the abundance in my life.
For the joy in my heart,i am grateful its unmeasurable.
I am so grateful for the days of down in my life,because through them i found the heart of God.

I am so grateful for the food on my table,dirty dishes signify that i have something to eat.
I am grateful for every sunrise and sunset,behold a new day comes,full of promises and a thousand chances.
I am grateful for the long shadows of the sun,after cold dreary days there is hope after a storm.
I am thankful for unexpected ways to share wisdom.
I am thankful for a chance to start again,opening my heart to love,opening my mind to life,knowing that God's love and life are mine always.
I am grateful for lots of noise,meaning i have people in my life.
Grateful for friends and the deepening of friendship,each year my circle grows.
Grateful for the awe and the bliss of the feeling that gratitude brings within me.
I am grateful for what i've become,what i was then,and what am becoming now!
I am thankful for patience that God has let me be,i have came a long way i can attest to this.
I am thankful for the simple things in life,its the simple things in life that really matter.
I am Thankful for the dreams that become reality and friends that became family.

I Hope this list goes on and on!its endless!For every day in my life i choose to be grateful.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Peeps...Nzisa wishes you happy holidays.

Its Nzisa..

OF REJECTION,AND PICKING UP THE BROKEN PIECES..

I saw it coming,but like the proverbial ostrich i buried my head in the sand.Hoping i will wake up from this dream.Well i never did,and what happened was a rollercoster, that turned my life upside down.Well, one cold july i received i text 'its over and further warned no matter what that was final.I was crushed beyond repair.What followed were long nights filled with tears.My appetite went north,i was nauseous.I could not keep everything down.Needless to say,within the next few weeks i lost 5 kgs,from 47 to 42,that was so noticeable.I became so dark and people could always stop and ask me.'whats wrong you?''Its because of the cold weather in Meru',i would lie.I so well knew what was ailing me.In a twist of events I learnt a wedding was only a few months away.So i was a fool all along.'Nilicheswa' .But i had to rise up and face this monster called REJECTION.And sure i did.I spent the next few weeks crying alot listening to sad music and watching sad movies.But sadly ,this was only the first of many tear -inducing rejections.Since then, i've been turned down for jobs,promotions,etc.And each time it still stings and i wonder,"why didn't this work out Lord,am doing all things right.

I pray
Read my Bible.
Tithe regularly.
And i serve you God.
Doesn't that mean i should be in the VIP line retrieve my blessings.It wasn't until i heard a sermon on rejection that i realized,Jesus gives us a strategy to heal f
from the hurt of rejection in Matthew 10 and Luke 9.
He knew that we'd be facing a mean world.And He tells us John 16:33,in this world you will have trouble.
Based on these verses here are three ways i learned to heal and pick my broken pieces.
Before that the first thing is Cry a river,build a bridge and walk over it.Let loose and mourn.Tears have a way of healing a broken soul.

BRUSH OFF BITTERNESS
"And whoever will not receive you,when you go out of that city,shake off the very dust from your feet as a testimony against them.Luke 9:5.Jesus explains to the disciples to brush off the residue of rejection and keep moving forward.
We can't allow rejection to fester and become bitterness.
I had to come to the realization(after several months)that my then boyfriend just didn't want to be with me,and he never really loved me as i thought.
I moved forward by being the best i can be in every aspect.Within no time i regained the old self me.My glow was back, i rededicated my life again to Christ because i harbored a lot of bitterness towards this person and freely forgave him for hurting me all along.Sometimes a golden heart just does that.
We are a living testimony against those that reject us,when we keep moving towards the plan God has for us.

Don't Be Held Hostage.
'When they persecute you in this city,flee to another,(Matthwe10:23).The next thing Jesus tells them to do is move on to another city.Sometimes,we just have to put some distance between us and the hurt we've endured.
I thank God,i was far from Nairobi,there was no way i would try to repair the relationship and anyway there was little i could have done with an upcoming wedding.
We can't let ourselves be held hostage by wondering why!
Why did i get laid off?
Why didn't i get that promotion?
Why did he choose her?
We have to be ready for the next door the Lord wants to open.

Be Open To The Next Possibility.
'So they departed and went through the towns,preaching the gospel and healing everywhere.Luke 9:6.
To me,this verse indicates that we should always be asking the Lord.'What's next'The disciples didn't stop when one town rejected them.The Bible says they went everywhere ,No matter,what door closes,God always has another opportunity.Sometimes God will break our hearts,so that HE can blow our minds.And this is so true because,i think i hit the jackpot.I can hear the bells ringing.
During that time,a friend while comforting me told me,one day you will be glad that it happened,it never made sense that time.But now it does,Am so glad it hapened,because i have learned so much more and found real happiness.

Rejection is part of life,but if we learn to apply Jesus strategy for overcoming,we don't have to carry the wounds of rejection for a lifetime.

I hope i touched a heart!

Its Nzisa.